Saturday, February 26, 2011

My personal E-Trade Preschooler

Pics say it all

I think I'll just let pics tell the story of the last week - although I'm leaving out pics of the portion from when I was sick.  You can thank me now for that.  It was a week of lots of snow in Jackson Hole and a little bit of snow in Portland.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I'm back...

 Yes - the ski trip was great...but I also brought back a bug of some kind that has thrown me for a loop.
No clever posts until whatever this ailment is passes.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tea Party Loon and Breasts

One more post before I take a break...

Hey Tea Party folks - if you want to be considered credible - call out one of your standard bearers when she acts like - well - I think the word idiot would be too generous.

I swear I'm not making this stuff up.  Michele Bachman (U.S. Congresswoman from Minnesota) is either suffering from an inability to make coherent statements or she is just mad that a black man is President - or maybe she's a total loon.

To make a long story short...Michelle Obama is promoting healthy lifestyles for kids.  (How dare she!)  She made a simple comment encouraging "breast feeding" and also mentioned the new IRS rule that allows breast pumps to be deducted as medical expenses.  (How dare she!)  Congresswoman Bachman (yes - people really voted for her) has taken these simple (and not really newsworthy) statements and turned them into another example of the government taking control of your life.  (It's that same government that is forcing you to choose your own doctor.)  She actually refers to it as a "Nanny State".

According to Bachman's logic - a tax deduction opportunity for those who choose to buy a breast pump - is the government exerting too much influence over it's citizens.  Tea Party folks love this woman.  (and so do I - because she led me to this post tonight - and the follow up below.)  It's like she lives in opposite land.

Speaking of breast feeding...Really...This needs to be encouraged?  Have you ever heard a woman say, "Breast feeding is so comfortable and fun?"  I know I'm a male and obviously can't relate - but maybe I actually can.  My 5 year old son has NEVER been breast fed.  I mean NEVER - and he is the healthiest kid that I have ever seen (so far).  He has NEVER been sick.  NEVER spit up or thrown up.  NEVER had a fever.  A couple of weeks ago I thought he did - but I was wrong.  Do you want me to go on?  I've heard a few sniffles hear and there - but that's it.  Sorry - teething doesn't count as illness.  Yes - we had that.

I'm sure that breast feeding is not a bad thing and can't harm - but if it hurts so much and causes such stress - and a woman has access to formula - use the formula.

Getting back to my original point...once again, I should be the one mad at the government for giving a tax deduction to some parents and not to me - just because I can't breast feed.  Maybe we all live in opposite land.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I went into this venture thinking I would be able to produce interesting and witty musings at the drop of a hat.  My cleverness obviously does not appear every day.  That's probably a good thing because as Caden reads this in future years,  I don't want him thinking he has to compete with my prose.  (If that even makes sense.)

The point is that some days I'm just not that interesting.  I was going to write a great piece on the uprising and Mubarek's fall in Egypt - but I didn't know where to begin.  I'm still trying to figure out who's in charge.  Supposedly the military is and the entire government has been disbanded.  Just how does that work?  I will be following the events and will let you know.

I was also going to write about my apathy towards Valentines Day - but thought it would be too grinch like.  But really - people celebrate a day to tell others that they love them?  Shouldn't that be Sunday through Saturday of EVERY WEEK?  If you want to buy your loved one flowers and candy on August 15th - you should do it and not be a lemming and fall in line with all of the other pedestrians.  Oh - I guess I did just write about my apathy (or questioning the purpose) for Valentines Day.  If you make a big deal out of it - you are a lemming.  Celebrate the day you met your loved one.  That's the day that probably set into motion the events that changed your life.
ONE EXCEPTION - get your kid a Valentines card and cards for their classmates.  If you don't - they will be heartbroken at school and my apathy for the celebration should not be held over kids.

All of this being said - I spent yesterday morning at Caden's classroom making "Friendship French Toast" in honor of Valentines Day - and loved every minute of it.

I'm taking a break for a week to go skiing - or as is the case - to watch Caden ski past me.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

T-ball time

It was another "sign-up" day.  One of the tasks of a stay-at-home parent that I've discovered involves the  never ending "sign-up" duties.  It's Thursday - that must mean it's T-ball sign up time.  As a note of reference for anyone reading this who might not have kids.  What "sign-up" really means is - have your credit card ready.

Have I told you how much I hate baseball - and always have?  Of course I played Little League as a kid - as every kid of my era in South Texas did.  We didn't have T-ball - and we didn't have soccer.  Caden started in a soccer program when he was 2 - yes 2.   We believe in introducing Caden to all sorts of activities - and letting him decide which ones are of interest.

Anyway - back to that point of me hating baseball.  My dad was a very active coach in our Little League program.  That made it even harder for me to say I didn't want to do it.  Everyone did it.  I wonder now how many of the other 9 year old boys just didn't want to play baseball but were also afraid to dare say the words.  It was easy to say I didn't want to play football.  I was scrawny.  No - that's being generous.  I'm surprised the State of Texas didn't intervene and ask my parents to prove that they fed me.  Funny thing - I really liked football - and still do.  Baseball is too slow and painful to watch.  I'm talking real slow.  I have a friend who is a very successful high school baseball coach in Texas.  Sorry - Don.  It's my blog - thus my opinions.

Kids today have so many choices.  I think that same town I grew up in has soccer now.  Lucky kids - not much wasted time in soccer.  It's probably so easy now for a kid to say- "I'm not going to play baseball this year - I'm doing soccer instead. ".  No hesitation in their voice - no shame at what the peers might think.  I remember being a sophomore in high school and an older football player in my school decided he didn't want to play football the following year.  It was all kids talked about at school for weeks.  Why would he quit.  I heard that coaches called him and tried to get him back.  I had assumed that he had some type of injury that wasn't being discussed and decided since he was in my Health class that I could ask him about his condition.  (It was a Health class after all.)  I took my scrawny self up to him and simply asked why he wasn't going to play football.  He very calmly stated - "I just don't care for it".  Wow!  I had never heard such honesty from a high schooler.  Remember - this was in Texas.  My high school ruled Texas football.  We had been state champs the two previous years and would eventually end up in the state final the following year.  Now I knew why other football players were shunning him.  He was telling his truth - and it didn't coincide with what they wanted the truth to be.  High school kids and many adults don't always want to hear the truth.

So Caden- if you start playing T-ball and honestly don't like it...please tell me.  I won't shun you.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Disneyland leverage

I just booked a trip to Disneyland in March.  How many times will the following sentence come out of my mouth before getting on the airplane.?

"If you don't do (whatever it is I'm wanting a 5 year old to do), I'm calling Disneyland and cancelling the trip.'

I've got about 6 weeks to use it.  I'm sure it will even be used while on the airplane.

Maybe I should wear a button that says it and just point to it each time.

Chains in football! Really? Still?

Taken from Andrew Sullivan's blog - who took it from Joe Posnanski.  I would like to think of this as my writing style.  I can wish.
Twenty-two people crash into each other, an official kind of guesses where he should spot the ball, it's about as imprecise as it can possibly be... and then they measure the thing to a hundredth of an inch. I mean, it's ludicrous. And as I have pointed out before, what often happens then is that they throw the football across the field and re-spot it... I say bring the chains back out. Sometimes you will see a center move the ball up a couple of inches before he snaps it... I say bring the chains out yet again.
Chains? Really? That's the measuring device we are using?
When was the last time anything was measured by chains? What was that, about 160 BC? "Spartacus, he's about 20 links tall now." Chains. You have to be kidding me. It's so much a part of football we NEVER think about it, but it's absolute ludicrous. This is the most successful sports league in America, and they're measuring with perhaps the least precise measuring tool available. It's like the Flintstones. Seriously: How do they keep the chains in a perfect straight line? If they're not in a straight line, then you might be measuring less than 10 yards. How hard do you pull the chain to make it exactly 10 yards? They couldn't use a tape measure or a laser or something?

Friday, February 4, 2011

Military life

Did I mention that I was in the U.S. Air Force?  Don't be alarmed - we weren't at war.  I hardly ever mention it to someone who served in Vietnam or even in either of the Gulf wars.  My military experience consisted of having a great job (that didn't really translate into civilian life), seeing the world, and only really being annoyed at about three things.

The first thing involved having to make a bed perfectly in basic training.  Basic Training itself was comical. After the second day, you realize that they aren't going to hit or even touch you - so you get accustomed to the yelling and realize it's just loudness.  Supposedly they are trying to instill discipline.  One way they think they are attempting that is to have us make our beds perfectly every day for about 6 weeks.  I'm sorry - but that has nothing to do with instilling discipline.  Punishment and positive reinforcement will create discipline.  Besides the obvious - what made it truly annoying you ask?  I was never asked or expected to do it again after Basic Training.  We spent all that time getting those hospital corners to perfection and once we left Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas - it was over!  Seriously - do they really think that made me more disciplined?

The second thing involved the Star Spangled Banner at the movie theater.  It's a tradition at any U.S. military installation throughout the world- that has a movie theater - which most do.  It's a standard theater with popcorn and previews.  You get in your seat with the popcorn and get fully comfortable while watching the previews.  Right before the main attraction - you have to stand up for a recording of the Star Spangled Banner.  No lie - everytime I would forget and then get annoyed that I had to get up.  Was the purpose to remind us that we were Americans serving in the military?  Uh - we were sitting on a U.S. military installation with military ID's in our wallets.  I think we all had that figured out.

Shouldn't it be obvious that the third thing was the "no gays allowed" line?  This didn't bother me until about my last two years when I finally figured out that I was gay.  (I was always a slow learner.)  and NO - I did not get asked to leave because of that reason.  I left because I didn't want that to happen.

I figure that three annoying things during 8 years must mean that I had a pretty good time.  I did.

No School Day

No - not due to weather.  New student interviews.

Remember when "no school" days meant you could sleep until 10?  Caden hasn't caught on to that concept - and neither has the dog.